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Besides lots of cooking every day and making flower
necklaces for the big events, weddings mean a lot of discussions and a lot of
dancing. The former creates stress, the latter relieves it.
From an outsider’s perspective, every wedding is the same.
It’s not like you have to rehearse all the motions and figure out where
everyone will stand. But here are a few details that have to be figured out:
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Who will dress the bride
and do her hair and henna?
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How will everyone who helps
out be fed?
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How much food do you send
to the groom?
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Who’s going to dance right
behind the bride and who will go to the wedding separately?
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What container will you
provide for wedding guests to put the money in?
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What if it rains?
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What if people forget what
day the wedding is?
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What about the music? What
if it’s too quiet?
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What about chairs, will
there be enough?
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And gift bags, are there
enough?
And on and on. In this case, the bride’s mother has lived on
another island for many years, so instead of helping take the work load off the
bride, she was increasing the work load. Another women (actually from the groom’s
side of the family) was the mistress of ceremonies at the bride’s house. Oh,
and here on Clove Island, the bride isn’t supposed to leave the house during
the days before the wedding, and her house has very bad cell reception. So from
her rooms she had to constantly send out messengers and wait for word on what
was happening.
But at every event there’s some sort of dancing that
relieves some of the stress.
And at every event people want pictures with the bride.
Or just with the white person.
On the last day, when the big event was for all the women,
some of the bride’s family started taking matters into their own hands, making
decisions and doing things without checking with the bride. And… fighting
ensued. “Never in my life have I seen people acting this way at a wedding!”
declared the “mistress of ceremonies.” The family alternated between berating
the poor bride and then telling her not to cry.
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| Dancing! |
Meanwhile I was there, trying
not to get in the way and to help however I could.
But after all the decisions were made and we confirmed that
the wedding event had indeed started, we took some time for the bride to calm
down… and danced the night away.
What better way to welcome in the New Year than dancing with
friends, taking pictures, and celebrating a wedding?
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| That practiced photo look... |
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| A good friend |
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| Bride and groom with the groom's mom |
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| Blocked by a baby! |
